So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
