so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
