Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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