so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
