Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
