If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
