thus making me awesome and them whores
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize