Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
