he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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