Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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