some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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