i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
