When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
