Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
