Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
