the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
