She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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