You can't motorboat a personality
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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