What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
