Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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