is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
