That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
