who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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