I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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