im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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