She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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