I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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