defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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