I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
