Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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