Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
