I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You took a bar mat shot.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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