yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
