Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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