the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
