So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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