We named our party play list daddy issues
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
