32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
