If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
