scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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