if i died would you start the facebook group?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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