Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
