the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
