Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I need to align my fucking chakras
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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