Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have demons in me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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