just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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