goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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