We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
