Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
