I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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