I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
