I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
