There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize