And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
