it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
