I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
