i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How naked do you want me to be?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
