I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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